One of the core values you must subscribe to as a Christian is that Almighty God is the source of all your supply. You must know that it is Him who blesses you with wealth increase.
Consider countries like Japan(and Korea), where the majority of people are educated, yet one million educated and qualified people remain unemployed.
All financial gurus will tell you that it virtually impossible to build wealth simply by being an employee. Tunde Bakare, a Nigerian statesman and preacher, simply but aptly states: “You cannot accumulate wealth working for another person”. As a child of you must know that God wants to bless the work of your own hands (Job 1:10), and not those of your bosses.
Personal financial planning has its place and most people do it. However you need wisdom to make accurate decisions to navigate through market forces, or invest in the right places, and get the best returns on your investments. Such wisdom is found in God alone and must be accessed from Him. After all the beginning of wisdom is the fear of God.
While there is nothing wrong with doing this, it is not enough. There are too many books written around financial planning and making money. Every author has their own experiences, opinions and theories about how to do it. With so many differing opinions on the subject, the more financial books you read the more confused you can become.
Such is unfortunately the philosophy of work for many, Christians included. Some people work extra hours. Others have an open door work policy. Most employees bring their work home. In many parts of the world people work two to three jobs at a time just to sustain their lifestyles. If you are in Christ, you should not be working “by the sweat of your brow”. Not at all. Remember Christ broke this Adamic curse over your life when He became a curse for you on the cross.
So I hope you realize that the power to make wealth comes from God alone. It does not come from yourself or from others.
Deuteronomy 8:18 : “And you shall remember the Lord your God, for it is He who gives you power to get wealth, that He may establish His covenant which He swore to your fathers, as it is this day”.
The power to make wealth comes from God – not from anywhere else. He gives us the wisdom, ability & capacity to make wealth. Also God has given us this capacity to make wealth to keep His covenant and promise with us. This is the real reason why God wants to bless us, increase us and give us wealth. Such was God’s promise to His own from the beginning of creation. Genesis 1:28 says, “Then God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” It is very interesting to note that God blessed Adam before he fell into sin. So Adam did not need to work by the sweat of his brow to enjoy the blessings. This was God’s original plan and covenant promise. God always wanted to “bless” us without our own hard work and labour. God does not need our hard work & labour to bless us. In fact hard work is an Adamic curse and the consequence of sin.
Proverbs 10:22 “The blessing of the Lord makes one rich, And He adds no sorrow with it”.
Riches and wealth are what the Lord blesses us with. Such things proceed from Him. We need not succumb to the efforts and schemings of the world’s systems to attain them. Moreover the word “blessing” here does not refer to “things” or possessions. It speaks of the conferring of blessing, grace or favour onto someone. Therefore the secret behind true wealth in not the need for hard work & labour but the need for God to bless and impart to us the capacity that attracts wealth.
Malachi 3:10 tells us that it is the initiative of God to bless. He says “I will open the windows and pour …blessings”. The prophet Zechariah confirms this truth when he declared that it is “Not by might nor power but by My Spirit…” (Zech.4:6). Even in the New Testament, the Apostle Paul tells the church in the city of Philippi: “My God shall supply all your need” (Phil.4:19).
The conclusion of the matter then is that God blesses us! He wants to bless us. He will bless us. This is His promise. If we can only believe it! Romans 4:18-22 provides us with an incredible example of such faith in God’s promises. It says that Abraham…
“…contrary to hope, in hope believed, so that he became the father of many nations, according to what was spoken…And not being weak in faith, he did not consider his own body, already dead (since he was about a hundred years old), and the deadness of Sarah’s womb. He did not waver at the promise of God through unbelief, but was strengthened in faith, giving glory to God, and being fully convinced that what He had promised He was also able to perform. And therefore “it was accounted to him for righteousness”.”
Husbands, you can overcome the seasons of tension in marriage.
All married couples will agree that marriage has its “seasons”. We enjoy it when it is “in season”. These are times of understanding, forbearance, friendship and contribution. But there are the odd times when marriage seems to go “out of season”. These are times of misunderstanding, intolerance, unmet expectations and tension, unfortunately. All marriages will encounter such bumpy patches, and some more than others. These are unavoidable. But what matters is how soon we resolve our marital differences and return to the “in season” mode again. And our attitudes play an important role in our response and ability to resolve marital issues.
When we come into the Kingdom, our attitudes must be adjusted, if not overhauled. One of the ways we as husbands can minimize or even avoid conflict with our wives is to heed the biblical advice found in 1 Peter 3:7 which says: “Husbands, likewise dwell with them with understanding.” This is where most husbands lose the plot. They fail to “understand” their wives. And where understanding is absent misunderstanding will be present. To dwell with our wives with understanding is more than being patient, kind and tolerant. The word “understanding” refers to divine understanding. It is about understanding things from God’s perspective. For a husband to dwell with his wife with understanding, he must view her through the lens of the Almighty. Husbands are the priests of their homes and ultimately responsible for keeping their marriages within the design of God.
So, husbands, here are some golden rules from the Scriptures to assist you:
To ‘honour’ your wife means that you think no evil of her. It means that you have to maintain her dignity at all times, especially in your mind. When you do encounter a bumpy road make sure you don’t confuse the problem with the person. It may seem hard to distinguish between the two but you must do it. When you do, her person will still be esteemed and held in high regard. If you don’t, you will violate her in your mind and assassinate her character. In so doing, you will be adding more fuel to the fire instead of putting it out.
So husbands, don’t devalue the biblical truths about your marriage or your wife. The Bible presents some powerful principles, truths and imageries about marriage. For example, marriage is a symbol of Christ’s union with His church (Eph.5:25-33). Such truths must become part of your core values. Keep them at the forefront of your mind.
Be committed to your wife no matter what. Don’t be too quick to throw in the towel. There is a solution and you must find it. Also, make a concerted effort to seek her highest good at all times. We all fail dismally in this regard. But we can at least try. Don’t deceive yourself: You are in no danger of loving your wife too much. Consider how Christ continues to love & cherish the church unfailingly. Likewise, give all of yourself over for her wellbeing (“And He gave Himself for her…”).
True. This is what the Bible says. This is the vow you took on your wedding day…unless you were lying. Interestingly, it is also the only way to promote your own wellbeing & happiness (v. 33 “He that loves his wife loves himself”). And be assured that your loving-kindness towards her will be more than repaid.
Being one flesh with your wife means that your destiny is intertwined with hers. Your purpose, breakthroughs, successes are all locked up in her. ThIs means that you can never be fulfilled or attain your successes apart from cooperating with her. 1 Peter 3:7b says that we are “heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayer be not hindered”.
Like most Christian husbands you may have formulated your own expectations about what a “helpmeet” should be. But your bubble is burst when she fails to live up to your expectations. You must understand that, although she is your helpmeet, she is still the “weaker vessel” in comparison to you (no offence to wives intended). Marriage is not supposed to be an equal effort relationship as you may have thought, expected or wanted. But you say: “I give 50% & she gives 50%”. That is a myth. The reality is that she is weaker than you so she is definitely expected to contribute lesser (perhaps about 1/3, while you contribute more, maybe about 2/3). So you cannot set unrealistic expectations for your wife, and it will be unfair if you do.
Her weakness is not only physiological but emotional, mental & spiritual as well. It seems that we are not just ‘heads’ of our households but ‘ahead’ in almost every regard! Please note also that this in no way makes your wife inferior in her person, mental endowments or contribution. It just means that she is tenderer & delicate, more prone to infirmity and weakness, and less capable of enduring rougher conditions than you are. You must understand this. She must be treated more delicately, with special kindness and extra attention, like a beloved child.
You are bitter towards her when you become ill-tempered and confrontational. It is hypocritical for us to be polite with other females but rude and bitter towards our own wives especially within the confines of your homes. As husbands we must make every effort not to be bitter towards our wives nor relate with them unkindly. Harsh language or treatment is a no, no. From today resolve to be kinder and more obliging towards your wife. Remember, emotionally she is designed to be weak & fragile. This is how God designed her. You should not subject her to your “over-manly” spirit, headstrong attitudes, brute nature, aloof moods or harsh speech. You must tread cautiously & sensitively.
Man is not the originator of marriage. God is. As the original designer of the marriage covenant He also holds the blueprints to an ideal marriage. So husbands, to become BETTER HUSBANDS, we must position ourselves at His feet and glean accurate patterns to proactively build our marriages.